I feel that my world is spinning around and around. My current state of confusion span from lifelong experiences with family, friend, and foe. I feel happiness yet I harbor sadness. I have much to be grateful for and yet there is sorrow and despair. When I am happy I am not satisfied. There is something missing...
October 15th marks the 10th anniversary of my twin brothers demise. It seems like yesterday that we were once running around in the summer heat, causing trouble. Our birthday is on October 23rd and I find it difficult still to "celebrate" the day of our birth. Sometimes I feel obligated to celebrate my birthday, inside I feel like curling up and spending it asleep in my bed just so I won't feel what I am feeling inside. To mask the pain of losing my brother, with whom I shared the womb.
They say he pushed me out and six minutes later he arrived. Doctors didn't know mother was having twins but grandmother knew. She walked herself to the hospital in snow, full with twins.
I love and miss you dearly my twin.